I'm back.

I've tried over the last few months to be healthy and not be obsessive and a calorie bore and all that stuff, but I don't think that I can do it. I hate feeling like I'm putting on weight all the time, I hate just
eating
and eating
and eating.

I eat when I'm not even hungry, just cramming in the food until I feel like I'm going to burst out of my own skin because it can't stretch fast enough. Horrible.

Living with other people is making it easier and also much harder at the same time,
no one notices if you don't eat,
but they do notice if you stand infront of the fridge ten times in an hour and then eat everything in your drawer in one sitting.
They notice that shit.

So I'm back here again,
starting fresh.
I want to eat healthily again.
Today I've been so good, after yesterday's meltdown (a whole tub of Ben & Jerry's was involved, I don't wanna talk about it),
I had a pepper and cream cheese sandwhich for lunch,
and sweet chilli chicken and noodles for dinner (which I made myself).
That's about 800 calories for today.

I'm currently watching Supersize vs Superskinny in an attempt not to go and eat something else.

No more midnight snacks,
no more ice cream tubs,
no more pasties for lunch,
no more crisps in the cupboard.

I will be good and I will sort my life out and I will walk to Uni EVERY DAY.

M